Postpartum support is NECESSARY!

Imagine who we all could be if we had the village - with all it’s wisdom, hands-on help, and nonjudgmental support? Once upon a time the village was a literal village where people lived in community, and new moms were nurtured in this way without having to ask. But times have changed. Now a lot of us have to be proactive - and that can be SO hard. But if we had this conversation more often and openly, I think we’d see a paradigm shift in the world of pregnancy and preparation for baby.

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What if obstetricians and midwives routinely asked pregnant moms who they’d be calling on for help and wisdom during the 4th trimester? What if we stopped buying our friends pointless fancy newborn clothes or expensive gadgets, and instead baby registries were filled with useful services? What if it weren’t socially taboo to ask friends and neighbors to just come over and help you out for an hour now and again?

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Maybe 20% of new moms wouldn’t suffer major perinatal emotional health issues. Maybe mom culture would shift out of the “stressed and overwhelmed” gear and into joy, ease, and pleasure. Maybe the whole village would feel better ❤️

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Follow @firstbehonest for thoughtful and practical parenting/postpartum content.

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#maternalmentalhealth #ittakesavillage #wheresmyvillage #parentingishard #newmom #babynumber2 #motherhoodunplugged

Painful postpartum sex?

Here’s a postpartum reality people don’t like to talk about: after giving birth, estrogen levels drop. Low estrogen causes vaginal dryness. Ergo, many women experience dryness postpartum. Breastfeeding further suppresses estrogen, exacerbating and extending the issue. It’s a normal thing - it is temporary - and lubricant is an inexpensive and effective solution.

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Yet. In my experience, I’ve never met anyone who was warned by her OBGYN that she might experience painful dryness during intercourse - not while being cleared to have sex at a postpartum checkup. Yes - you should wait to have intercourse until you are cleared by a healthcare provider. But they should also be giving you a lot more information about your nethers - how they’re healing, how they may be affected going forward.

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The air of secrecy around this very common, minor, health condition contributes to a culture of shame about postpartum bodies. You can help by talking about it! If you’re pregnant or newly postpartum - ask your healthcare provider about it - and if you’re feeling brave (you did just birth a human, you bad ass), ask them why they don’t volunteer the information. If you are close to someone pregnant/newly postpartum, give them a heads up (when appropriate).

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Bottom line - breastfeeding hormones can have a negative effect on arousal. Postpartum sex is best approached gently. If sex is still painful, wait a little while until you can consult with your doctor or (better yet) a certified pelvic floor PT. It’s very treatable. If you so desire, you can get back to your healthy happy sex life after baby ❤️

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#maternalhealth #postpartumhealth #postpartum #lifeafterbaby #newmom #pregnancytips #postpartumtips #postpartumsupport

Self-care for new moms

Not taking care of ourselves inevitably leads to burnout. Burnout makes it really hard to be the parent you want to be. What do we need? Good old, “self-care.” But what does that mean? And HOW?

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Clearly, parents need more than the bare minimum of self-care activities to feel well. Whether or not something “counts” as a true, healing, emotionally-regulating, self-care activity is dependent on where you are now, and what your greatest unmet needs are. We all need our hair cut from time to time - but if you haven’t had the privilege recently, getting a haircut feels like self-care! So schedule it already!

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Here are some other low-cost ideas that might appeal to you at any level of parenting overwhelm. Follow @firstbehonest if they’re helpful ❤️

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Carve out 20-30 minutes once a week for something just a little indulgent. Add it to your calendar and honor it, even if you feel silly. Put your headphones on and listen to an audiobook, podcast, or your favorite album a few times through. Make art. Read People Magazine cover to cover. Paint your nails.

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Spend a night away from home. Doesn’t have to be a hotel. Could be at your BFF’s house, or your mom’s - but go without the kids. Trade nights with your partner or coparent. Enjoy a little time for tea or coffee in the morning before returning to the demands of your family.

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Call a friend. Maybe someone you’re losing touch with because of the rigors of parenting. Express love. Commiserate. Reconnect.

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Dance. Include your kids if you need to. Even if you’re not a music person! Even if you have no rhythm! Just pick a dance playlist and let yourself have fun and be free for a little while. Shake your booty, give up caring what you look like. Breathe. Enjoy just a few minutes of low-pressure movement.

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Good luck! I’m here to help if you want to talk it through ❤️ #parentalburnout #selfcarefirst #parentingsolutions #newfamily #postpartum #postpartumhealing #postpartumhealth #gentleparenting